


And Every Road You Take Will Always Lead You Home

by KelliDiane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Meh, Temporary Amnesia, tried to stick as close to canon time as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelliDiane/pseuds/KelliDiane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?</i><br/>Everything I went through you were standing there by my side<br/>And now you gon' be with me for the last ride<br/>So let the light guide your way, yeah<br/>Hold every memory as you go<br/>And every road you take, will always lead you home, home</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Every Road You Take Will Always Lead You Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abrokenkindofperfect (hockeycaptains)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hockeycaptains/gifts).



> For abrokenkindofperfect
> 
> I'm sorry it's so late and it feels rushed. I had so much more I wanted to do with this (expanding parts and having other scenes), but real life got in the way and this was the final product. I'm probably going to rework later once things start to settle down for me, but let me know what you think and I'll work on it (:
> 
> (Also, title and summary taken from See You Again by Wiz Khalifa. That song is literally what I listened to while writing this.)

It was quick and painful. Not exactly what Zayn remembers being told death would feel like. Then, again, he doesn’t actually know if he’s dead. All he knows is that he can’t see clearly and there is screaming and horns blaring. He knows he had a green light. He’s such a cautious driver that he knows he didn’t run a light or anything, but he guesses it doesn’t matter how cautious you are when you’re hit by a car barrelling through an intersection.

He had been on his way home from Louis’ after celebrating four years together as a band. All he can think about the safety of Niall who had been right behind him. Was he okay? Did he get hit?

That last thing he sees before his vision swims and he passes out is the flashing of red lights and he hears the wailing siren of emergency vehicles.

\-------------

Liam is the last to make it to the A&E that Zayn had been taken too. He bursts through the doors in a panic, only having a thousand and one messages from the other three about his best friend’s condition. He spots the group of them huddled in the corner. They’re the only ones here, the hospital diverting as many of the patients as possible to nearby hospitals so they don’t have to worry about fans and paparazzi. “Is he okay?”

“He’s in surgery. He was hit pretty hard. Got t-boned by a drunk driver doing one twelve. Niall was there. Said he the car kept going and pushed Zayn’s car a bit until they hit a jersey barrier. When the paramedics arrived, Zayn was unconscious.” Harry says quietly. It’s hard to process the fact that they could be a band member short in a matter of seconds.

Niall lets out a deep breath as he looks up at Liam. His eyes are rimmed red like he’s been crying for days instead of just a couple of hours. “It was terrifying. I was right behind him and watched the whole thing. When the cops and the medics got there and I heard that the other driver was just fine… I couldn’t help it. I started screaming and hitting the guy. Didn’t get much damage in before the cops had pulled me off and handcuffed the guy.”

“Zayn Malik?”

The four heads snapped up and stare over at the nurse who at least had the decency to blush as she realised that it was only the four of them in the room. “Uh, he’s out of surgery. They’re transporting him to the intensive care unit overnight. You can see him in the morning, but he probably won’t be awake from the drugs until later tomorrow afternoon.”

Louis scrunches in nose up in annoyance. “Are you telling me we just sat here for four hours just to find out that we aren’t even going to see him? No, that’s fucking ridiculous. You’re going to let us see him and we’re going to see him tonight.”

“I’m sorry, but we need to keep a close eye on him. He had severe brain swelling and that’s what we were operating on. Intensive care means that the case needs immediate and constant care. If you all are in the way if something goes wrong… Look, you’re not allowed into the intensive care unit. I can’t change that. There is a hotel down the road that you can look into if it’s too far out for you.”

“Come on, guys. Let’s just head up to the hotel. We don’t need to stay here and stress ourselves out.” Liam says as he watches Louis ready himself for a fight. He reaches out and grabs the eldest wrists knowing that the boy is ready to argue some more.

“He’s going to be alright.... Right, Li?”

\------------

Zayn is awake and sitting up when the boys are finally allowed to see him the next day. It’s hard at first- there’s crying and lots of gentle hugs and small forehead kisses over the gauze- but then it gets significantly harder. “When did everyone get tattoos?”

“Zayn, come on, mate. We’ve all got tattoos together. Well, except Niall. He‘s still to scared to get one.” Louis says quite matter-of-factly and reaches over to ruffle the blonde hair.

The hospitalised boy frowns. “No. None of us have tattoos. In fact, none of you even look like you. Harry, when did your hair get so long? Niall, your teeth are straight now? Liam, you’ve got muscles- like proper muscles? Lou… Lou, you’ve thinned out and gotten a proper haircut… Yesterday we were all packing and leaving the X-Factor house.” He confused how so much happened over night.

Harry is the one who leans forward and rests his hands against the side of Zayn’s face. “Zee… What year is it?”

“2010.”

Louis wants to cry. “No, babes. It’s 2014. You’ve… You’ve forgotten four years.”

The heart monitor spikes and the nurses rush in.

\------------

“Four years! He doesn’t remember four years! What am I going to do? What am I going to tell his parents?”

“You'll figure something out. You always do.”

“But this time is different. He won’t be there to help me break the bad news.”

\------------

He sits there staring at the motionless figure. It’s not so far off from how Zayn looks normally when he sleeps. The tubes and needles are new, but he still looks the same. It had been such a long surgery and he was worried that Zayn would be not tired from sleeping during his operation, but apparently Zayn’s body is in shock and sleep is the best thing for him.

He watches the boy’s chest move on his own and he’s happy that it didn’t end up being as bad as it could Have been. He had been so sick with worry when he got the call. He vomited twice on the side of the road on the way to the hospital to see him. He doesn’t like the uncertainty of this. He doesn’t want to walk on eggshells around his friend. He doesn’t want to have to put up this fight.

\------------

Zayn awakes again. This time it’s only Niall there. “Niall?”

The blond looks up from his phone, stashing it away quickly. “Aye, mate. How you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been drugged.”

Niall can’t help the laughter that escapes with that one. “Well, they did give you quite a bit of sedatives.” He stands from his chair and makes his way over to the hospital bed. He motions something that Zayn must understand because he starts to crawl into the bed and wraps himself around the broken boy. “I’ve been asked to answer any questions you have, by the way. I’m sort of the stats guy for the band so I can pretty much answer anything you want.”

Zayn sighs. “Can I see your phone? I still can’t… It’s not 2014.”

“Zee, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Maybe… Maybe I should just answer some band questions first.” Niall says quietly. He’s been advised to not say the year again before Zayn is ready and has come to terms with his amnesia.

“Are we a hit? Like, did we conquer the UK like we thought we would?” The boy asks quietly. He remembers staying up late and talking openly into the dark about what they wanted to accomplish as a band. He remembers himself saying that he wanted to top the UK charts.

“Mate,” Niall says with a grin in his voice, “we did more than top the UK charts. We’re number one in thirty seven countries. We broke America. People are calling us bigger than The Beatles. It’s humbling when you hear the numbers. We’ve released three CDs and we’ve smashed them all.” He’s starting to get animated and excited as he recounts the band’s history.

He continues on, talking for hours about certain achievements and awards they won. Tells him all about how they’ve changed- physically and musically. He tells him about his relationship with Perrie and their unfortunate break up due to never seeing each other. He tells him about the house he bought for his mother and the dog that Safaa got because of the break between him and Perrie. He tells him all about Harry’s mother’s wedding and Louis’ mother’s wedding only the week before.

He tells him every last detail except for the things that the doctors had advised him to keep a secret. He doesn’t tell him the year or about the hate he’s dealt with. He doesn’t tell him about the weed video or cheating rumours. He doesn’t tell him about his current relationship with one of his fellow band members.

The doctor wants him to remember on his own.

\------------

“So where exactly do I live?”

Liam laughs as he pushes Zayn to the awaiting van in his wheelchair. “In an apartment complex with the rest of us. We all have our own place, but it’s a lot easier to round us up when we all live within three hundred yards of each other. You took the bottom level of one. It’s actually pretty funny. You and Louis are the only people in the one building. He took the flat above you.”

Paul is waiting outside the van to help Zayn inside and after a quick check to ensure that everyone was safe and secure, they headed back towards London.

“Wait. Where’s Louis?” Zayn asked suddenly after ten minutes of driving in the car.

“He’s not coming back to London yet.” Harry said with a shrug. “We celebrated our band-iversary up in Doncaster since he’s watching his sisters and brother while his mum and Dan are on their honeymoon. He’ll be heading back in a few days though.”

They come to an intersection and Zayn looks out the window and flinches when he sees a car turning towards them. The doctor said he might be a bit iffy with driving and riding in cars for a while, but from what Niall’s told him he’ll have to get used to it and soon.

Niall notices him flinch and frowns. He wants to take Zayn’s mind off the car accident that took his memory from him. “Oi. Zayn, you still haven’t seen yourself in the mirror or pictures yet. We’ve got to give you a rundown of styles and stuff you’ve tried in the past. Word of advice, the fans didn’t like the blond stripe in your hair.”

The rest of the way home from London is filled with pictures and more stories. They laugh and cry as Zayn asks about styles and outfits for certain things. They have him watch all of their music videos and try to stream their movie on an ipad. It ends up spending more time buffering than anything though and make it back to their apartments before they can finish it.

“Can you come to my flat with me? I just… I don’t think I really want to be alone right now. I mean…” Zayn stumbles over what he wants to say and ask, but the boys smile and agree easily.

Liam checks his watch, “I can spend a few hours with you. Sophia is coming over later tonight though. Do you remember Soph?”

Zayn blushes as he realises it must be someone important and he’s completely forgotten them.

“Of course he doesn’t. Sophia was recent, remember? He’s only got up to us losing X-Factor.” Niall rolls his eyes and tries to fix Liam with his most frustrated look, but Niall’s frustration only lasts as long as Liam’s confused face.

“Oh god! I forgot you… Forgot. It’s weird. Like, I know you can’t remember anything, but Louis forgets stuff all the time. Granted, not things like faces and names, but that’s probably because he grew up in a larger family.”

Niall rolls his eyes, but smiles sheepishly at his friend. “I wish I could stay, Zee, but the LIC is meeting up tonight and it’s my turn to buy. Plus, Laura said I could do body shots off of her so…” The blond shrugs. “I’ll be over tomorrow though if you need me.”

“I have no plans. Why don’t you come to my flat?” Harry says with a smile. “In fact, Liam will pack you a bag and bring it over.” He figured it’s probably a bad idea to let Zayn into his flat right now. There’s pictures all over the place of Zayn and Louis and all of Louis’ things are spread across the floor since he’s in the process of moving in.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Zayn agrees happily, not really wanting to be alone.

\------------

“When are you coming home, Lou? It’s been three weeks.” Niall asks into the phone as he grills enough food for a small army. Luckily, between him and the other three boys there would be minimal leftovers. They’re all growing boys, after all.

A sigh comes through the speaker before the rough Yorkshire accent fills Niall’s ear. _“I don’t know, Ni. He doesn’t remember anything we had. It would be weird to come back- especially since we share a flat and a bed.”_

“So sleep on the couch or something. I’m sure you could crash at mine or Liam’s. Louis, he’s asking for you, mate. We’ve done all we can to get him to remember, but there’s only so many times someone can watch an interview or performance before they start to wonder why your fourth brother isn’t with them.”

 _“Because I’m not his brother! I’m more than that I can’t go back to how it was before. I was miserable when Zayn never looked my way. I hated life when he would hug me or touch me in any way and I knew it was strictly platonic. I just got used to thinking that Zayn truly loved me and that he wasn’t doing this out of sympathy. I… I can’t relive all that, Niall. I honestly think it would kill me.”_ Louis’ voice shakes as he tries to hold back the tears that he can feel gathering in his eyes.

Niall is quiet. He feels sorry for Louis- he truly does- but he’s what Zayn needs. “Look, Louis. I don’t care. That sounds cruel, and maybe it is, but my first concern right now is Zayn and getting him his memory back. Liam, Harry, and I have done all we can. The rest is gaps that we can’t fill in. So, you’re going to get your ass on the first train home tomorrow or so help me I will come up to Doncaster and drag you back here by your ridiculously shaggy hair.”

\------------

Louis finds himself staring at the door to Harry’s flat at three sixteen in the morning. He knows he could use his spare key, but he honestly doesn’t feel welcome. He’s been such a twat about the whole thing with Zayn and the phone call from Niall yesterday tells him as much. The annoyed and increasingly angry texts from the three boys also shows him that he’s in the dog house with them.

He ends up calling Harry’s phone, happy when he hears the exceedingly deep voice reverberate through the technology. “Harry, I’m outside. Can… Can I crash at yours? I don’t want to be in Zayn’s flat when he wakes up.”

He doesn’t receive an answer; instead the younger boy hangs up on him. He waits a good five minutes and is ready to head to Niall’s when the door finally swings open. “Took you long enough, you tosser. Zayn’s been asking when you were going to come home for weeks. You better have brought an apology and a shit ton of explaining. Do you know how upset he’s been? He thinks you’re angry at him for losing his memory.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t ready to face him. Harry, does he know about us?”

The long haired boy sighs and ushers his friend inside. “Yeah. The doctor called and asked how he was doing. When we told him that he was starting to piece memories together and getting glimpses of things we hadn’t told him about, he said to tell him everything. We asked about the relationship thing because that’s a huge thing to drop on someone, but he told us to tell him. Yesterday was the first time he had been in his flat and he saw all the pictures and the half unpacked boxes.”

Louis lets out a breathe he didn’t even realise he was holding. “How’d he take it?”

“He cleaned. Like, he dusted and vacuumed and put everything away. He finished unpacking your things and made the bed.” Harry sighs and sets about the kitchen getting two mugs of tea ready. “Liam and I caught him staring at a picture of you two. He kept running his fingers over your face and just staring at it. He finally put it down, but we knew he was trying to place it. He gets this like scrunched up look on his face and it’s actually kind of funny.”

The water starts to produce tiny bubbles and Louis watches them race to the top of the kettle. “What did he think though? Was he okay with it? Did he place the memory? Was he disgusted?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “You’re such a drama queen, Lou. He didn’t say anything for a while. He just kept cleaning and organising. Then he asked Liam if you two had ever kissed. God, Liam was as red as a tomato! It was hilarious. I should have taken a picture to show you. Liam stuttered out a response and then Zayn just looked at the picture again. Later on, he told us all that the picture was taken in Australia after you guys told each other you wanted to be more than friends.”

Louis needs to do something with his hands so he pours their tea and prepares it the way he knows they both like it. “So he remembers?”

“Not really, but he remembers that moment and put a few other things together with context clues from his flat. He’s not dumb, Lou.” Harry says as he takes his tea. He quietly thanks Louis before sipping at the hot liquid. “So,” he asks, “what are you going to do?”

Now it’s Louis’ turn to sip at his tea, but he only does it to stall as he thinks of an appropriate answer. “Honestly? I have no fucking clue, but I’ve got to be there for him. No matter what.”

\------------

The next few weeks were tough. Louis is constantly with Zayn, showing him photos and answering all his questions. He’s been there as Zayn’s parents came to visit and as he went back to the hospital for a check up. He’s held his hand through all the scans and tests. He’s held Zayn when he’s woke up in a cold sweat, screaming about the oncoming car and as he’s cried when he’s realised that it was all a nightmare. He’s been there.

His relationship though is breaking.

It’s been weeks since he’s kissed his boyfriend, weeks since he’s held him in any way that could be described as romantic. It’s weighing down on him and he can feel himself slipping into resentment for the man that he thought he would love forever. The only saving grace is that Zayn randomly stares at him and Louis can practically feel his mind working to piece Louis back into his memory.

It’s been a particularly hard day when Zayn stares at him over dinner. “Louis?”

“Yes, Zayn?”

“I love you.”

Louis looks up at his boyfriend floored. He had been saying that to the boy since he returned- he’s been saying it less and less lately- but Zayn had never returned the sentiment or said it to him at all. He blinks, feeling the tears already filling his eyes and spilling over onto his cheeks. “You… You love me? Do you mean it? Like, do you remember?”

Zayn sighs. “I don’t remember. I can’t… I just can’t see it. But, I know it has to mean something if you’ve been continuously by my side for weeks. I might not remember why I loved you from before, but I love you now considering everything you’ve done for me.”

Louis’ heart clenches, but he knows it’s a start towards something a bit better. “I love you, Zayn. And I’m sorry I was so selfish the first few weeks of the accident and stayed away, but I was scared and upset. I worked so hard to get you the first time and I was worried that the news would be a shock and you would hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Lou. You’ve done so much for me- before and after the accident. I don’t know why you think I would hate you-”

“I didn’t want to force you into something,” Louis says softly, quick to interrupt. “The doctor also said that relationships and such shouldn’t have been pushed on you till you were used to your predicament. Too much, too fast I guess. But I know myself and I know that I would have been pushing for us and that may have well driven you away.”

Zayn sighs. “Will you let me finish without interrupting me?”

Louis shrinks in his seat and nods. “Yeah.”

“Now, I don’t know why you think I would hate you. Even if you had pushed, I would have just given in. You’re the guy that pulled me out of my shell- everyone has told me that since day one of waking up.” Zayn watches the small smile flit across Louis’ face when he says that. “Apparently I’ve never been that good at saying no to you.”

The older male lifts his head slightly, silently asking if he could speak. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. You’ll figure this out- if you don’t get your memory back- that I get caught up in my own head sometimes… A lot of times.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zayn says with a smile. “I’m going to get my memory back and when I do, we’re going to celebrate like a couple should.”

\------------

Two weeks later, Louis is starting to lose hope. He’s showed Zayn pictures, videos, told him stories, had other people tell him stories, everything he could think of to jog the boy’s memory. He’s come to terms that their relationship will never be the same, but this is like starting over. He figures something good has to come out of all of this.

“Louis? Where’d we go for our first date?” Zayn asks for the third time.

“Stonehenge,” the brunet replies. It wasn’t the most romantic dates, but being two guys who liked video games and nothing else it had been a start.

Zayn nods. “Alright. Let’s go to Stonehenge.”

Louis chokes on his tea and the sudden request. “You want to go now? Like, drop what we’re doing, pack a bag and go?”

“Yeah. It’s better than sitting around here depressed about not remembering. Maybe we have to make me remember.” Zayn says with a smile.

Louis just smiles back, a bit of hope returning to his eyes as he thinks about this possibly working. “Okay. Let’s go to Stonehenge.”

\------------

Three hours later finds them at the impressive rocks. It was just them and Preston, no one else wanting to join on the- hopefully- eye opening trip. There were tourists and a few people recognised them, but Preston kept them away explaining that this was a personal trip and that the two really didn’t want to be disturbed.

“So… Stonehenge…” Louis says with a wave of his hand. It wasn’t as spectacular as he remembered it, but it could just be his mood.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Seen it before, Lou. In pictures and text books… Apparently in person too.” He wanders around the monoliths, weaving in and out of the rocks and archways. He starts to wonder why he thought this was a good idea until he sees them.

A few feet ahead there’s a couple leaning against the stones kissing. He’s ready to kindly ask them to stop leaning against one of the country’s greatest treasures when his voice gets caught in his throat. He thinks about the past weeks since he’s told Louis that he loves him and frowns. They haven’t yet done anything besides holding each other’s hand.

He quickly blushes when he realises that he’s been staring at the couple- who is now staring back at him- and mumbles an apology before taking off to find Louis.

He finds him lying on the ground a good way from the monolith. “Kiss me.”

“What?” Louis sits up as if that was going to help his hearing.

“I said ‘kiss me.’” Zayn says again, more confidently than before.

Louis sighs. “Zayn, I don’t know if-”

“For god’s sake, Louis! I told you I loved you and you’re still arguing with me over that? You still think I’m going to leave? Well let me put it this way: kiss me or I’m leaving. Does that make it any plainer or simpler for you? Jesus Christ, Lou. You’re so infuriating sometimes I wonder how we-”

Louis cuts him off, pressing his lips against Zayn’s hard and insistently. If that’s what Zayn wanted so badly then that’s what he’d do.

Something clicks inside Zayn’s mind the second Louis’ lips touch his. It’s like a dam has been broken and all these memories come flooding back into his mind. Their first kiss, their first date, their first official public outing, the boys, their music, their home, their love- everything. It’s like a simple kiss from Louis could fix everything wrong with him.

He can’t help the tears that start flowing down his cheeks, and Louis must notice them too because he pulls back. There’s a look of dejection and sadness covering the normal happy-go-lucky expression that Zayn loves so much.

“See, I told you-”

“April 6, 2013.”

“Huh?”

“April 6, 2013. That’s when we came here together. It was in the middle of the Take Me Home Tour and we had a day off between London and Newcastle. That was our first date and the first time you kissed me.” Zayn says excitedly.

Louis frowns in confusion. How does Zayn remember-

“Oh my god! Zayn!” He smiles brightly and throws his arms around the boy’s neck, peppering his face with kisses. “You remember! Oh my god!”

“All I needed was you, Lou.” Zayn says with a dorky smile before burying his face in the crook of Louis’ shoulder. “I’m never going to forget you ever again. I promise. I love you so much.”

\------------

They immediately tell the others. There’s crying and hugging and plenty of smiles. They all quiz Zayn wanting to ensure it was all back before they started discussing where to go from there. “We need to take a year off.”

“We can’t. The album is set to drop next month and we’ve already had to put the tour on hold once. There’s no way we can take a full year.” Liam says with a frown. “I’d love a year off, but we need to do it after we finish the Where We Are tour.”

Louis nods. “Zayn and I were thinking the same thing. We already talked out the logistics and everything.” He shrugs and leans up against his boyfriend and relaxes at the simple touch.

“So when did you want to start touring again?”

Zayn shrugs. “As soon as possible. First things first though, I promised Louis a special trip once I got my memory back. Paris is romantic, right?”

\------------

They’re sitting in Le Jules Verne- the restaurant in the Eiffel Tower that Louis has always wanted to try- and looking out over Paris. The poor restaurant staff had stayed late to accomodate the two pop stars, but the guests appreciated it very much and Louis was even attempting to speak French in order to be a bit more thankful. “Quel est.... Uh, votre meilleur... Vin?”

The waiter rolls his eyes, but smiles nonetheless. “I do speak English, by the way. Thanks for trying though. It might go faster if we speak in your language.” The accent dripped with a pompous air, but words at least seemed genuine.

“Oh,” Louis says with a blush. “Well, whatever your finest wine is, we’ll take the bottle.”

Now it was Zayn’s turn to roll his eyes, but he lets Louis order what he wishes. “And we’ll drink till we forget?”

Louis looks at him, a small smile on his face. “We could never forget. And even if we did I know we’d be okay.”

Their dinner is quick and quiet- hushed whispers and small declarations of love. It’s over far too quickly, but they won’t keep the waitstaff any longer than necessary. They bag up their leftovers of food and wine before making their way down in the elevator.

It’s a fairly windy night, just cold enough to justify walking a bit closer to one another to keep warm. The Seine runs quietly next to them as tour boats gently break the calm surface. Behind them, the tower is sparkling having been lit at dusk so it can be seen through the entire city. Louis holds tightly to their food as Zayn holds onto their purchases from the small artist marketplace up around Sacre Couer Cathedral.

They had opted for no bodyguard to escort them tonight wanting to be able to be a normal couple. Having scheduled their date later in the evening had been the idea and so far they had yet to get stopped. It was nice to just blend in and be another happy couple in Paris.

“Zayn?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

The darker male smiles brightly and leans down to kiss the boy. “I love you too, Lou. Even if you can be an utter wanker at times."


End file.
